Returning to something still ringing true.

It's taken me 50,000 separate wrecks to get here and
I've learned absolutely nothing. As I'm standing here alone,
upright and motionless I am drowning in her sea.
The rising and stinking of every consciousness I've ever known
Now detached and disconnected. The endless cycle of idea and action,
Endless invention, endless experiment, endless hope and endless
disappointment.

and I thought all I needed was just one breath to stay
afloat. For me it was like...like the breath, the last breath, the
last breath that I never wanted. Any of this.

I never thought that this would
capsize, but this isn't a boat, its a coffin! And now I'm moving forward.
Into the sea...into the great sea.

So I begin with the end in mind.

The cycles of heaven, 20 centuries gone by,

come home.

I've fallen three miles now... and I still can't shake this dragon,
but the end is coming like a flood. It's going to be a year for
growing and the greatest amount of forgetting. My sea is dying, but
death is a doorway
and at the very root of me I know this.
It's the greatest reminder. What a broad world to roam in,
what a sea to swim in,

so I begin with the end in mind.
So I begin with the end in mind.

Disconnecktie: the faithful vampire. by Norma Jean

A Priest Is Not His Own, Causes of the priests fall and Resurection

Opon reflecting what I've read today... Today I read probably one of the most slap in the face chapters contained within this book of divine wisdom. Fulton sheen reflects upon what causes priests/and all persons downfall. He relates it to Simon and Peter. The contrast he draws between Simon and Peter, two names of the great Apostle, is likened to the two natures of a Priest: Simon the human side and Peter the Christlike divine side. These natures of a priest are exemplified throughout the Gospel and really help Fulton Brilliantly illustrate the decline and fall of the priest. Where Christ calls the man Simon it is shown the apostles weak state, and failings, calling him Simon son of Jonah, Satan and get behind me. When Peter at the Garden fails to pray and falls asleep signifying his dissent to deny our Lord. Small areas of sin or lack of prayer and watchfulness, lead to sin even Simon's denial. His laziness or desire for comfort sitting by the fire another leading to sin, as well as his failure to stay close to our lord. Fulton says if Peter had first prayed and kept watch, Simon Peter wouldn't have struck the soldier or if he kept close would have prevented himself from denying the Lord.

This reflection really is ingenious in that if we loose sight and fail to be with our lord there is sharp connections with failure. Peter is strongest when he's with our lord and not seeing or following him from a distance desiring to die with Him. We must meet our lord and draw ever closer, seeking him always, and I know that I fall when I fail to live these very things. This very reflection is at the utmost at home with me and strikingly necessary. I have so much to work on and I am in much need of prayer. Speaking of which...

Praise God!
Michael