Strange yet beautiful

Many things happen for reasons beyond any explanation and I wonder at them. Within these things one wonders what good does God intend to bring from them. I consider myself sometimes and wonder what good can I do, or what good will God place in my hands. I can only hope to be one day understand the workings I see God doing in this world. Its hard for me at this point not to see a divine hand in things as things come and go in such order I cannot see chaos. There is order in everything and even those things so very terrible such as the recent desecration or my friends contraction of limes disease. I do not understand fully why or how the good will come in all these things but I know that it will be for the best purposes. The folly of one person is easier to see is the cause of fallen humanity, but limes disease is a bit untimely. I can see that all natural disaster and disease is for our own good, to understand that we belong with God in heaven. The pain of this world is ultimately related to our separation from God.

It is good then that we have a God who came and truly identity's with our plights and suffers with us in our broken, torn, ripped to shreds nature. I have to anylize truly what is in my nature that continues to bring me down and I have to loose the bonds of sin that contain me. These bonds are my cage, my burden and my cross. I am discontent with where I am, and I desire something more, I guess I've never felt at home within my own home. I think there is something about being with Catholics and friends those who share what is dearest to me. Its no wonder I want to be a priest. I recently received a notice from some Carmelite brothers and I became really excited, because they were discalced following St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross's reforms. There is something about St. Teresa and St. John that I really admire and I feel a certain connection with them. I wonder there is something so beautiful with their desires for God when they were on this earth as everything was secondary to Him whom we Love.

I will skip analyzing that for a moment as I have another thing I wish to discuss as it was yet another blessing God bestowed upon me. It was Wednesday this week that I had to give blood and my sister left to Boston for a bit more than a month. I wasn't giving blood in a blood drive but I went to the doctor to have some blood drawn to have some tests ran. I barely know what to expect with the tests, as it had to do with a concern my doctor had last year about increased activity of enzymes in my liver, which I can't even speculate about. Anyway I went in for all of five minutes and then I had time so I went to Church for some adoration and prayed the liturgy. I noticed a guy about my age in there as he came 45 mins into my prayer time. I was thinking about leaving and he got up to leave and I grunted pausing awkwardly as usual then I asked if he wanted to say the benediction with me. He agreed and so afterwards on our way out the door we greeted each other and He knew me. He's like, "Michael?" I was like,"yeah thats me." All the while I was like who is this guy and he's like, "its me Joe May." I knew Joe from boy scouts growing up and I didn't recognize him at all. I also later made the connection later that his Father was Dean May at St. Olaf and he knew my friend Alan. It was wierd because we were talking outside Church and this 93 year old lady came up to us and started telling us a whole bunch of things and wanted us to visit her at her house. She had come for daily mass, which appearently wasn't that day as there was no sign of Father, or anyone for that matter. She went in and then came out and slipped a 20 dollar bill in my pock and walked away saying why don't you fellows go to dinner. I saind, "I don't know if I can accept this," But I could barely get the words out as she was determined. Joe and I went to pizza talked, reminisced about many things and it was sweet. I was all by divine influence as we really had nothing going on that day and just worked out so well.

I see many things in my life that through my trust in divine order and providence things work out for the best. Why not? I mean God does some pretty amazing things and I think we forget look at these things. I need now to see His work in the less extraordinary things such as my sister does. I look at her faith and see how much pleasure she really gets in the simple things. It is an inspiration to me, as her friendship has really been a inspiration on my life. Life is good and lets love it for His sake, as we love all for His sake. If we love for His sake we experience less hurt or none at all according to the measure of our faith and loves sake.

Peace, for that should be all for now.
Trinity sustainer sustain
Michael